


the gift of life

by seijhoes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pregnancy, just tooth rotting fluff, mentions of birth? if anyones uncomfy with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22357978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seijhoes/pseuds/seijhoes
Summary: Tsukishima Kei isn't so sure about being a father, however, with some help from Tadashi, and witnessing the miracle of life growing in front of him, maybe it won't be so bad?
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	the gift of life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seokk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seokk/gifts).



> A birthday fic for Nessa! Happy birthday, I hope you like it, I sort of spun off from my original idea, however, I like the direction it went in. Sorry it's a bit wordy though

Tsukishima Kei perhaps wasn’t the most the most affectionate person on the planet, and he knew that to be true. He’d never been much of a hugger, reserving that right for his mother and his husband, and public displays of affection had him inwardly cringing. He was lucky that Tadashi wanted to be with him at all, to be honest, and was also lucky that Tadashi was so patient and understanding of him. Kei could just add that to the big list of reasons why he was so in love with him.

However, when the time came for that conversation with his partner, he was hesitant. And by that conversation, Kei was referring to the discussion of having a child.

Kei had known for a few years now that Tadashi wanted to raise a family with him, and even before they were married, Kei would catch him gazing wistfully at Akiteru’s daughter, Chinami, whenever the holidays rolled around and they all gathered together under the same roof. Tadashi was wonderful with kids, he loved them, and they loved him just as much, if not more. He knew how to talk to them, play with them, what to do if they got fussy or sad, and was probably the best storyteller that Kei had ever seen, creating voices for different characters and making them come to life in a way that would put even the most world renowned storyteller to shame. Even Akiteru told him in passing once that Chinami couldn’t stop talking about uncle Tadashi, and when she could see him again. So, it wasn’t Tadashi that he was worried about not being a good father, not in the slightest, no, he was worried about himself.

Kei had never really been what one would call a nurturing person, he didn’t have anyone younger to really look after when he was a kid, no little cousins or siblings, and having shut himself out from everyone other than his mother and Tadashi in late middle school to early high school, he wasn’t the best at forging relationships (Hinata and Kageyama didn’t count, those idiots just stuck around for Tadashi and he associated with them by default. Still, they were more bearable to be around since they’d matured). He couldn’t tell you how he’d done it with Tadashi, he still asked himself as much at times, but Tadashi would just chuckle and tell him not to worry about it. Long story short though, kids weren’t a fan of him, and the feeling was mutual, he thought babies were loud and slightly annoying (He gave a pass to Akiteru’s kid though, since that was his niece), and he didn’t enjoy holding them. They didn’t really do anything, so he didn’t understand the hype.

So, he worried, he worried that he wouldn’t be able to bond with his own child, and that one day that child would come to hate him and they would grow further and further apart and- Well, he didn’t need to go on. Tadashi was far more suited to be a father than he was, and he wanted to just leave it at that. In fact, he’d been trying to avoid having the conversation for as long as possible. Before they got married, his excuse was that they should be worried about actually getting married first before any baby talk. So, Tadashi had waited, waited until after the wedding, the honeymoon, settling into their domestic lives and jobs. He’d waited months, and Kei could tell he was getting impatient, it was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped.

And one night, it did. Late one night, after practice had run a little over what it usually did, Kei had gotten home to find that the bedroom light was still on. He set his stuff down and padded down to the room, opening the door to see Tadashi sitting propped up in bed, sitting on his laptop. Tadashi looked up when he heard the door open, smiling and shutting it. “Hey, how was practice?”

“Mm, fine.” Kei yawned and went to the bathroom, getting ready for bed. “Sorry I missed dinner, I just picked something up on the way back.” 

“Oh, it’s alright, I just got some work done and cleaned up a bit.” He stretched, yawning softly. “I couldn’t sleep at all, so I just waited.”

“Mm, not tired huh?” Kei chuckled and climbed into bed next to him, pressing his lips to his lovers softly. He smiled at the little whine Tadashi let out when he pulled away. “Liar.”

Tadashi giggled, “Okay, maybe I’m a little tired, but is it wrong that I wanted to wait up for my beautiful husband?”

“I feel like you’re trying to butter me up for something.” He rested his head on his shoulder. “Should I be afraid?”

“I mean, it is a big topic.” Tadashi turned to him, sighing softly. “Kei, I… I want to have a baby with you.”

And there was that other shoe.

Kei sighed and sat up. “So do I, you know that.”

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

“But… I don’t think that I’d be good with them, I mean, I’ve never been good with kids, you also know that.”

“You’re good with Chinami! She loves you.” Tadashi frowned.

He sighed, “I feel like that doesn’t count though, she’s my niece.”

“Still, she’s told me lots of times that you’re the best uncle in the world!” He grinned. “And she wouldn’t lie.”

“...No, but still, what if I can’t bond with them? What if I’m just… Cold, and I don’t feel anything towards them?” Kei frowned, bunching the blankets up in his fists. “A child deserves love from both parents…”

Tadashi frowned and grabbed his hands, holding them tightly. “Kei…”

“I know it sounds ridiculous but it worries me. I just..” He sighed. “I want to be a good father.”

“Kei,” He felt Tadashi’s hand on his cheek, and he looked to see him smiling. “I think the fact that you’re so worried about this will make you a better dad than you think.”

“How?”

He chuckled. “Well, the fact that you’re worried about not bonding with them and not having a connection will make you try harder to create a strong bond with them. So, in a way, your fear is sort of helping to make you into the dad you want to be.”

...Huh, he supposed he hadn’t really thought of that before. “I guess…”

“I’m not saying we’re adopting right now, but I would at least like to start looking into the different methods of adopting with you, if you’re okay with that.”

Kei sighed, smiling a little as he pulled Tadashi into a tight embrace. “I’d like that.”

“Good, because I may have already started.” He smiled sheepishly, opening his laptop back up. “In my defense though, I wasn’t gonna show you any of my research until I talked to you about this first.”

Kei laughed softly and looked over at his screen. “Fair, okay, show me what you got.”

***

After a lot of debate, and thinking it through, not to mention talking it through with their families, the both of them had decided on a surrogate. They had looked into adoption, but the process was extensive, and as worth it as it might be to some couples to wait that long, the two of them were slightly impatient. Surrogacy had been their second choice, but the thing they were hesitant about was picking just a random woman who they didn’t know. They considered going through an agency, but one day Tadashi had a bright idea.

“Ask Hitoka?” Kei had sighed, the both of them in the kitchen making dinner together. “I don’t know ‘Dashi, at least with an agency we have women who are willing to do this, she knows we chose surrogacy right?”

Tadashi nodded, smiling. “Yeah, and it doesn’t hurt to ask does it? Besides, she’s got all the qualities we’re looking for in a surrogate! Plus, we know her and everything about her.”

“Okay, you do have a point, but that’s also a lot to ask of a person, even if she’s our friend.” He sighed and dished up their food. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up if she says no.”

“I know.” Tadashi sighed. “But, can we at least try?”

He knew that Kei couldn’t say no to those eyes, and Kei sighed in defeat. “Okay, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

“Nope, they won’t be.” He grinned and sat down.

‘Liar,’ Kei thought, though he didn’t say so as he sat down to eat with him.

***

And that’s how they ended up at Yachi Hitoka’s apartment a couple days later, the three of them sitting in her living room, drinking tea, trying to gauge her reaction to their question. So far she’d just sort of stared at them, wide-eyed, like a fish out of water.

“Um… Hitoka?” Tadashi tilted his head. “You there?”

“O-Oh, sorry!” Hitoka cleared her throat, sipping her tea, though Kei saw her hands trembling. “It’s just… Wow, a big question.”

“We know, but… We just wanted to ask, in case.” Kei sighed. “You can say no if you want to, we’ll completely understand.”

“Ah, I didn’t say no, it’s just… Not something I could answer right now, I don’t think.” She sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“No, oh please Hitoka don’t feel bad!” Tadashi frowned. “We know it’s a lot to ask of a person, but you’re one of our closest friends, and also a girl, so…”

She chuckled, setting her cup down. “Well, I’m glad I made the cut, sounds like there were a lot of contenders.” She teased.

Kei snorted, “Right, of course.”

“Really though, I’m really flattered and honored that you would think of me to carry your baby.” Hitoka grinned. “Let me just think about it, please?”

The two men looked at each other and nodded, “Of course, take all the time you need.” Kei hummed.

Honestly, they hadn’t expected to hear from her for a while, at least a few weeks, but sure enough she called Tadashi almost a week later saying she would do it. Kei hadn’t really thought she would say yes, but, hell, this made it a little easier on the two of them, so he wouldn’t complain.

The week after, the three of them sat down with lawyers and hammered out all the final details of the agreement. Kei had to admit, he was a little excited when everything was finalized, because this meant that it was actually happening, their plan was finally being set in motion. It almost felt surreal.

***

The next few months flew by quicker than Kei thought.

Before he knew it, Hitoka was officially pregnant, with the test to prove it. She’d send them pictures everyday and let them know how she was feeling to keep them updated since they didn’t see them very often. They went with her to doctor’s appointments, and it always brought tears to Tadashi’s eyes when they saw their future child on the ultrasounds. Kei would never admit it himself, but it also tugged at his heartstrings, knowing that in just months, they’d be able to actually hold them and love them.

A few weeks later, they went in for the ultrasound that would tell them the gender of their baby. Tadashi always stood next to Hitoka and held her hand, while Kei stood to the side, but still in a position where he could see what was going on. For this appointment however, he inched a bit closer so that he could actually see what they were talking about.

The nurse was nice and walked them through what she was going to be doing and if they wanted lots of pictures, to which Tadashi enthusiastically responded, “Yes!” She had just smiled and put the jelly stuff on her belly, moving it around to find the baby. “Hm, oh! There we are, now let’s see if we can find out what they are…”

Tadashi squeezed Kei’s hand with his other free hand. “Are you hoping for anything specific hun?”

“A healthy baby.” Kei chuckled, squeezing his hand back reassuringly. “‘Dashi, you’re gonna worry yourself to death, we’re just figuring out the gender.”

“Oh! I found them, now let’s see…” The nurse squinted, looking at the screen. “And that… Is a healthy baby girl! Congratulations you three.”

Hitoka beamed and looked at them. “A girl!”

Tadashi wept, smiling through his tears. “A-A girl, Kei we’re going to have a baby girl! Oh, Kei..?”

Now, Kei hadn’t noticed this until he saw Tadashi looking at him strangely, and he reached up to feel that his face was wet. When did he start crying? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t waste any time in pulling Tadashi into a tight embrace and crying harder. They were having a daughter, a little girl. Kei didn’t know anything about girls, but he was willing to learn, he was even willing to learn how to do pretty hairstyles for her. God, when had Kei turned into such a softie?

But as they walked out of the clinic later that day, he was unable to keep himself from looking at the ultrasound pictures, and he realized that he was okay with that, only for his husband and daughter.

***

Hitoka went into labor in the wee hours of the morning, she’d opted to stay with them the last month or so before her due date, just in case she did go into labor. Kei remembers hearing loud groaning coming from the guest room, and they were up in a flash, asking her if she was alright. Once she said that she was pretty sure her water broke, they put their plan that the three of them had come up with months ago into action. Tadashi helped her with her shoes and into the car while Kei grabbed the prepacked bag for the hospital stay and sent out the alert that it was happening.

The drive to the hospital was anxiety ridden, that energy mostly radiating from Hitoka and Tadashi in the backseat, him trying to remember the breathing strategies from the birthing classes they went to, and her just trying to make it through each contraction without crying. It was a long drive.

When they arrived, they immediately set them up in a room, Hitoka squeezing Kei’s hand tightly while Tadashi went to get some food. They’d been there for about five hours now, and he could see the sun beginning to rise from the window in the delivery room. Hitoka was getting closer at least, with her contractions getting closer and her being dilated nine centimeters. Kei just hoped that Tadashi would be back soon. However, that didn’t seem to matter when the doctors came in a few moments later telling her that she was ready and could push. They both gave each other an equally terrified look before Kei sighed and looked her in the eye. “You can do this.”

Hitoka nodded, giving his hand a squeeze. “I-I can do this..!”

And Hitoka pushed, and pushed, and pushed. Kei tried his best to reassure her, but was slightly relieved when Tadashi came back and helped her out a little more with that. “Cmon Hitoka! Just one more!”

“Y-You sound like you’re talking about volleyball..” She let out what Kei thought was a laugh, but couldn’t tell as he heard the loud cry of the baby, their baby. 

“A healthy baby girl.” The doctor smiled and had the nurses clean her up, while the rest of them helped Hitoka. One of the nurses brought their baby over and offered her to Kei, to which he was about to refuse, until Tadashi gave him a nudge and a smile. Kei took a deep breath and accepted his daughter into his arms, and, just like the day where they found out that she was a girl, he wept happily. And he knew, right then and there that he would love this baby forever and always, even when she wasn’t even a baby anymore.

Tadashi was crying too, thanking Hitoka over and over again. “Y-You gave us the greatest gift we could ask for…”

Hitoka smiled tiredly at them, “It was my pleasure, really… And anything to see Kei get all choked up like that…” She chuckled.

Kei looked at her and nodded, still cradling their baby. “Thank you, Hitoka, so much.”

“You’re welcome, like I said, it was my pleasure… I just can’t wait to rest now.” She smiled and rubbed her eyes. “Oh, did you guys decide on a name?”

Tadashi and Kei looked at each other and nodded. “We have.” Tadashi grinned.

“Oh? What?”

Kei smiled and looked down at her, giving his baby girl a soft peck. “Hana. Tsukishima Hana.”

He couldn’t believe he’d been so afraid before, so hesitant to have a baby. Kei could only imagine all the things the three of them would do, what Hana herself would do one day. And he would be there to witness it all, her highs and lows, her accomplishments and failures. But, instead of being afraid, he was ready, ready to face the challenges of parenthood and fatherhood. He knew he would be alright though, especially with Tadashi by his side.

They would be okay, just the three of them.


End file.
